You were always so hard to forget
you'd linger in a room
after you'd left
you'd cloud minds
muddle thoughts
interrupt lovely
daydreams
at least to me you did
I remember everything
your touch
your scent
your smile
the venom you spat when
you found out
and now
the thing I remember the most
is how your shoes looked
as I watched you walk away
lying on the ground
your lace was untied
Love the last two lines - an untied lace is such an evocative image
ReplyDeleteCan see everything you've written! Good job!
ReplyDeletenice...the close is tight for sure, but you set it up well giving a foundation for those emotions...nice.
ReplyDeleteGeorge, I'm so glad to see you here! Woo-hoo! I hope you like it. You'll meet some wonderful people if you mingle a bit. Excellent poem. That ending is the best. I look forward to more from you :)
ReplyDeleteThe funniest things we remember during difficult times. I thought you had misunderstood the prompt, until it surprised me at the end. Great way to put life into poetry.
ReplyDeleteWas this after she knocked you for a loop?
ReplyDelete=)
ReplyDeleteA good collection of images you have here.
I especially appreciate these lines:
you'd cloud minds
muddle thoughts
interrupt lovely
daydreams
Take care and keep smiling. If she never gets back it may actually be better to you. =)
Thank you all for the kind comments! I look forward to reading your work as well!
ReplyDelete@Mark Kerstetter, I'll never tell. :-)